THIS IS STUDENT WORK. Columbus and Magellan trying to navigate the 405 Freeway because Columbus ran out of vanilla again.

Also, can you tell I like Monty Python?

RADIO SCRIPT

SFX: (CRICKETS AND SOUNDS OF THE FREEWAY AT NIGHT)

MAGELLAN: Columbus! Willst thou tell me when to turn? Whereart mine exit?

COLUMBUS: Lower thy voice, Magellan! I cannot measure the stars when thou art so shrill! Now then, if this be the North Star, then West is three degrees–

MAGELLAN: Had we stayed off the beastly 405, we would have arrived by now! Why dost thou need so many spices anyway? How much vanilla doth one man use in a week? 

COLUMBUS: Mind thy business! And stop steering so recklessly! I can’t see through my telescope--

MAGELLAN: I’m sorry–hast thou been holding the map upside down this entire time? If we have to drive through that tundra Northridge again, I’ll–

SFX: (ANGRY CAR HONKING)

COLUMBUS: Did that wench just cut thee off?

MAGELLAN: That wench just cut me off!

COLUMBUS: What’s this? She waves a single finger in our direction?

MAGELLAN: Ah! It must be a sign of goodwill in this land! Let us wave our single fingers back at her!

ANNCR: Navigation has a come a long way. And with Waze, you can go even farther with your adventures.

COLUMBUS: (GASPS) She’s stopped at the side of road. And look! She’s come to greet us!

ANNCR: Waze, for the explorer in all of us.

MAGELLAN: Ha ha! She offers us her wooden club?